Thursday, August 30, 2012


So last night, while laying in bed about to go to sleep, Matt and I were talking about fish. Actually, we had been talking about the differing political viewpoints between conservatives and liberals, and I'm not really sure how that got segued into fish... But it did. And I'm here to tell you, I don't like fish.

No, not that kind of fish. That kind's delicious!

I don't like -live- fish. "But you HAVE a fish!" You're probably thinking. But Mr. Mage is a very small fish. I don't like big fish. When they get much bigger then a large goldfish I start to have a problem with them. They're so.... creepy.

Here's a good example- the bagel shop that Matt and I frequent for bagely breakfasts has a tank with an eel in it. I didn't notice it the first few times, but the last time we went for bagels, I realized it was a fish tank! I like fish tanks! And it has a neat fish in it! We ended up sitting at the table right in front of the tank (Because I insisted), and I was super excited. Like 'face mashed against the glass excited' about sitting next to the eel.


I liked him when we first sat down. He was kind of chilling out behind a little log in his tank. But the longer I sat there, the more unnerved I got. Fish do that, well, fish eye thing. They just stare, unblinkingly. And eels kind of look mean. Our bagels came and we were munching away at them, but the eel was staring at me. I was getting creeped out.

He was neat at first, with his weird little nose holes, and his weird skin.... Then he decided to go for a swim. And he was really big. Like, I knew he was big, but when you actually see it... I pretty much had to ignore him the rest of the meal because my stomach was getting upset about it. Wtf?

I'm really not sure what it is that bothers me so much about fish. It's really not that I'm afraid of them; it's hard to be afraid of something that is completely avoidable. But when they're very big, they're creepy and weird. Take whales for instance.

I like whales. I like the way they look. The noises they make. They're 'giant bovine of the ocean-ness' is nice. Am I afraid of them? No. Would I want to be anywhere near them? NO.

Okay, maybe I am afraid of them...

I imagine part of it is how alien fish are to us. It's a completely different animal type, you know? Why fish bother me but reptiles don't is beyond me though. It's also probably that I don't really like water (Especially when it's loud!), and large open expanses, which is where fish tend to live... You can't see what's in the water with you, you don't know how big it might be, if the water's too deep it just gets dark and black... It's disturbing!

So no, I never want to swim with whales. I'll go to the aquarium with you, but don't blame me if I get all creeped out! Fish are creepy- you jsut haven't realized it yet!


1 comment:

Daffycat said...

This post is hilarious.